The trouble with unemployment is that the minute you wake up in the morning you're on the job.
The way things are going the only people who will have jobs are those in the unemployment office.
Unemployment rates continue to grow: With so many people unemployed, they will have to hire people to process unemployment claims.
A mathematician, an accountant and an economist apply for the same job.
The interviewer calls in the mathematician and asks "What do two plus two equal?" The mathematician replies "Four." The interviewer asks "Four, exactly?" The mathematician looks at the interviewer incredulously and says "Yes, four, exactly."
Then the interviewer calls in the accountant and asks the same question "What do two plus two equal?" The accountant says "On average, four - give or take ten percent, but on average, four."
Then the interviewer calls in the economist and poses the same question "What do two plus two equal?" The economist gets up, locks the door, closes the shade, sits down next to the interviewer and says, "What do you want it to equal"?
Source: Economics Jokes
Two newfs who worked together were both laid off, so they
went to the unemployment office. The first was asked his
occupation.
“Diesel fitter” he replied.
Since diesel fitters was a skilled job, the clerk gave him $600.00 a week.
Asked his occupation, the second said, “Panty stitcher.
I sew the elastic onto cotton panties.”
The clerk looked up panty stitcher. Finding it classed as unskilled labour, she gave him $300.00 a week.