Econ Humor: 8 Good Jokes About Going Green

By: EW News Desk Team   Date: 15 July 2011

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EW News Desk Team

Always on the look out for the latest news to monitor the state of the world economy.

EconomyWatch, News Desk Team

 

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15 July 2011

The green movement is one of the most under-rated issue in global economics today. If we ruin the planet to live on, where would we do business then? The rise of green technologies and increasing investment in the sector over the years is a good sign that conservation is being taken seriously by the powers that be - but let's face it, anything as controversial as this can be taken a bit too seriously, or erm, passionately.

Here's a few jokes to take to the bar this weekend:

1. Q: How many humans does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Wait, are we absolutely certain the light bulb needs changing?

2. President Bush says he's really going to buckle down now and fight global warming. As a matter of fact, he announced today he's sending 20,000 troops to the sun" - David Letterman

3. "Scientists say because of global warming they expect the world's oceans to rise four and a half feet. The scientists say this can mean only one thing: Gary Coleman is going to drown." - Conan O'Brien

4. Lisa: "Do we have any food that wasn't brutally slaughtered?"

Homer: "Well, I think the veal died of loneliness." - The Simpsons

5. "I love little children too but I don't cut off their heads and stick them in vases." - George Bernard Shaw, on flowers

6. "Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong." - George Carlin

7. "It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it." - Dan Quayle, former US vice president

8. An environmentalist dies and reports to the pearly gates.

St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you're an environmentalist, you're in the wrong place."

Thinking that heaven could never make an error, the environmentalist reports to the gates of hell and is let in.

Pretty soon, the environmentalist gets dissatisfied with the environment in hell and starts implementing eco-friendly improvements.

After a while, global warming, air and water pollution are under control. The landscape is covered with grass and plants, the food is organic, and the people are happy.

The environmentalist has become a pretty popular guy. One day, God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?"

Satan replies, "Hey, things are going great. We've got clean air and water, the temperature is better and the food tastes better, and there's no telling what this environmentalist is going to fix next." God replies, "What??? You've got an environmentalist? That's a mistake, he should never have gotten down there; send him up here."

Satan says, "No way. I like having an environmentalist on the staff, and I'm keeping him."

God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue."

Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah, right. And just where are you going to get a lawyer?"


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